It's finally Friday and in the words of the beautiful Melissa Gorga:

I'm so team Melissa.

 Actually, this leads me to something very importaint. 
Teresa.

WHY THE F HASN'T ANYONE MENTIONED HER TWOHEAD??!
(I call it a twohead because she's got WAY less than a forehead.)

 
I mean, what the heck IS that?
Her hairline starts about 4 centimeters above her eyebrows. 
Disgusting.

I am so tired. The alarm went off this morning and I wanted to cry. 
If I curled up in the fetal position under my desk, I could sleep for hours. 
I'm not gunna lie, I went out last night for a few cocktails and...

 
That is all for now.

 

I REALLY want to be a Spice Girl.

Sometimes, when I'm getting ready in the morning, I slam it to the left and shake it to the right. 

I would be Posh. Duh.

I highly recommend leaving the top of your convertible up on your lunch break.

Unless, of course, you want to look like this for the rest of the day. 

God, I'm good looking. Bah!

 

Friday Randomness  

As my boss leaves for a lunch meeting and I call after him "Have fun! Call me if you drink too much!" Muhahaha. 

I received a new office chair today. However, I use the term "new" loosely. The dudes in the office below us all got new chairs and we purchased their oldies. To be fair, it is a really nice chair. I think the thing's worth like $900 new. (Yes, I googled my chair.) The downside...it smells like urine and I know exactly who's ass was in it last. I made the office manager smell it because my boss wouldn't. I KNOW she smelled piss but she said it smelled like pasta to her. Whatever, I'm not ungrateful. Lumbar support vs. urine pants. 

I really don't think they appreciate fashion around here.  I'm wearing my new pair of lady loafers (leopard lady loafers, to be exact) and I'm gettin' all sorts of funny looks. Lay off the loafers, people. 

Paris Hilton

This is not a joke. This not a movie or a dare. This is really Paris Hilton and she's really driving a pink car with a pink leather trim interior, a spacesuit looking gold jacket, hooker hoop earrings and nasty over-sized white shades. 

What a joker. 

Walking the fine line between law firm professional and club attire. 

(If there were such a thing)

((Disclosure: This post is not a "look at me, look what I'm wearing post!" I hate those, they make me want to gag. No one cares about what designer you wore while sitting at your desk. This post is strictly to make a point that due to my lacking closet and limited decent work attire and have to inappropriately stretch the  boundaries.))

Tornado warnings for the 'boro today.

I work RIGHT next to a train track. Actually. I'm practically sitting ON the track.

Wasn't exaggerating

And....tornadoes are supposed to sound like a train comin'atchya, right?

This could make for a very confusing day. 

You think if I assumed the old school position every time I heard a train I'd get some laughs??

 

Remember that consigned coffee table ($96.02) that I was SO excited about finding?

Well, I woke up bright and early Saturday morning with big plans to refinish that little table. I picked up a few electric sanders from my dad (who has 3...why does anyone need 3 sanders?) and stopped at Lowes for some supplies. $36.83 later, I'm on my way home.

Remember, my house is small, we don't have a garage so I have to work on my porch. Ghetto. Don't judge.  So Mark lugged the table outside for me and I go to town taking the hardware off and sanding that bad boy. After it was sanded, I applied the primer. Then I painted a small section to make sure I liked the color. I loved it. The only issue...after it dried, it scratched/peeled easily. Damn it, I was going to have to strip the entire thing.

If you've stripped furniture before, you know it isn't an easy process. Especially if you only have a small space to work in. But...I was excited and in love with what the finished product was going to look like. It took me 3 (freakin) trips to Lowes ($35.90), 4 hours, damage to my fingernails, stains on the porch and an  aching lower back...and the beast was naked.

(Sidenote: When I say "stains on the porch" that's code for "my husband accidentally kicked over the blue paint can.")

In short...it pretty much took all day Saturday. Saturday night, I demand pizza and movie on the couch.

Sunday morning I wake up to to the sound of rain.

Raining on my f'ing coffee table.

Warped. The entire thing is totally warped. $168.65 and an entire day...gone.
I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I didn't cry. Because I sure did.

Craigslist's "missed connections" literally kill me. It's hysterical. People grow some cahoonas to actually speak to someone if they catch your eye!

Please enjoy a few of my favorite "missed connections" from this week:

I was sitting in the corner of the bar. I heard someone achoo! I turned my head and saw the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I dookied my pants right after that. Please tell me what type of curly brown hair you have? 

The way to a gals heart, tell her ya shat your pants...smooth. "What type of curly brown hair you have?" Curl brown, dumb ass!

I saw you at Battleground Park today and couldn't help but take a picture. Nice legs!!! I know you didn't see me but I saw you. Would love to give those sexy legs a rubdown after you are finished running ... or anytime! Let me know when you are going to run again.

Holy crap, that's creepy! That's one hell of a zoom, brother!

you came in today as you have before had a question about your unit. You are very hot and i love the tattoos you have paw prints on your breasts, would love to hook up sometime. Let me know what shirt i was wearing as you had commented on it on your way out.  

paw prints.on.your.breasts.  sick nasty.
 I saw you at the McDonald's on Green Valley yesterday at 12:30. You were wearing a button up blue blouse, an earth tone camisole and loose fitting khakis and stood about 5'9". I was the 6'2" man with salt and pepper hair, short sleeve shirt and cargo shorts. I would dearly like to communicate with you. Best wishes

sir, respectable girls do not communicate with men in "cargo shorts." 

You were standing in front of the cat aisle of Petsmart wearing a tattered shawl and smelled like fancy feast. I walked up to say something to you, but you were busy walking up to each cat, jumping into the air and exclaiming Kitty! at the top of your lungs. The manager asked you to leave before I had a chance to get your name. Let's grab a fancy feast of our own.

no words.

Just a warning

Wal-Mart’s Genuine Steakhouse™ steaks taste like straight up dog. Just sayin.

Perfect Chambray Shirt.

I want you. So, so, so bad.

 Please say hello to the newish (unfinished) addition to the Potter household.

 I've been scouring consignment shop after consignment shop and finally found the perfect coffee table. We wanted something small, multifunctional and slightly mod. I cant wait to get my paws on the sander!!!

I'm going to paint the entire table this color:

Then paint a high gloss over the top (because I love shine!) and spray the hardware a super shiny bright silver. I still cant decide if I'm going to outline the little cutouts on the door in silver or not...

(This incredibly boring post was brought to you by lame chick who's overly excited about her 2nd hand finds.)

 

You want a kid, you want a kid, you try for a kid, you want a kid, you want a kid.....you get a kid. Then you name him Duke.

Duke. Really??

 

Sparkle Tips

I actually kinda like um. 

 I used a rubber band as a guide. Painting the left hand, fairly easy. Right hand, extremely difficult. I was 3 minutes away from making Mark help me.

Belgian designer and artist, Liesbet Bussche, has transformed street barriers and roadblocks, throughout the streets of Amsterdam, into larger than life necklaces, earrings and charms.

Tuesday morning gripes:

Happy we got our new iPhones. Not happy about the $295.00 bill we received in the mail. Bump you, Verizon. I want my track phone back.

Shipping. $9.99 shipping fee on a $18.00 pair of shoes...seriously?

Rhinestone skulls, so impractical, yet so cute. Too bad we'll never meet.

My hair. I feel like the Long Island Medium's doppelganger today.

Not good, nooooot good.

 Not having enough hours in the day. I guess everyone has that issue though. I would love a day with my feet up, in the sun, champagne in one hand and a trashy magazine in the other. 

Damn, I really want those shoes...

Peaches

 

Meet Peaches Honeyblossom Geodof. 

 She is a is a British journalist, television presenter and model.

And apparently, can't push a stroller worth a damn. 

Her son, on the ground, wearing tights (?), is Astala Dylan Willow Geldof-Cohen.

Does it make me a bad person if I find this slightly hysterical? 

(Oh, and Peaches' sisters name is Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence Geldof.)

Its been a pretty tough morning at the office.

Busy making bacon, egg and cheese McConnorsMorgan Muffins.

?

“Friends say Kate is convinced it’s happened, and while she and William are keeping the news close to the vest, they’re delirious with joy,” an insider told the magazine. “A woman can always tell when the earliest signs appear, and it’s believe that a passionate night together at their rented country house on an estate in Wales, just after the end of the London Olympics, did the trick.”

That is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.
Tomorrow, I'm going to walk around "convincing my friends" that "it's happened."

What the what?! 

EPT, WOMAN!

(Error Proof Test)

Friends say Kate is convinced it’s happened, and while she and William are keeping the news close to the vest, they’re delirious with joy,” an insider confirms to Star magazine. “A woman can always tell when the earliest signs appear, and it’s believe that a passionate night together at their rented country house on an estate in Wales, just after the end of the London Olympics, did the trick.”

Read More at: http://hollywoodlife.com/2012/09/05/kate-middleton-pregnant-baby-bump/#utm_source=copypaste&utm_campaign=referral

“Friends say Kate is convinced it’s happened, and while she and William are keeping the news close to the vest, they’re delirious with joy,” an insider confirms to Star magazine. “A woman can always tell when the earliest signs appear, and it’s believe that a passionate night together at their rented country house on an estate in Wales, just after the end of the London Olympics, did the trick.”

Read More at: http://hollywoodlife.com/2012/09/05/kate-middleton-pregnant-baby-bump/#utm_source=copypaste&utm_campaign=referral

This week was the start of the "lean cuisine every day for lunch" diet. I'm forcing myself to eat this gelatinous lemon chicken shit for a few very good reasons. 
Ok..one really good reason. 

Behold:

 

Half bath ALMOST done!

Success! After having to patch and paint a hole (because I can't hang anything straight to save my freakin' life)...they're up! I'm getting really good at patching holes!

Suitcase shelves

I'm still playing around with how to decorate them...but I'm pretty happy with the end result! I'm searching for a little basket/box for on top of the toilet to keep the TP. Also need a little something on the bare wall to the right. 

I'm going to sound like a total dork here, but I went to Anthropologie during lunch, NOT to look at clothes, but to look at the store's decorations for inspiration. We have a pedestal sink and I'm thinking these plants would look cute near the base of it. It's a little hard to see from the picture, but all they did was spray paint a brown bag gold and add a little rope to make it tight around the planter. How cute would a plant like this look sitting on a small vintage hat box or travel case?? Or even a stack of vintage travel books....

Hancock Fabric had a 50% off sale this weekend. I took total advantage and purchased 5 pillow inserts and some funky trim. All for under $35...holla!

Some pillow inspiration--NOT my house.

Funky pompoms and crystal trim for the pillows.

It'll probably take me a while to decide on fabric, but, what else is new. Once complete...I'll show ya'll!



 

Little Amanda's big fat wedding!!

This long weekend was super fun. Mandy got married and BOY did we have a great time. I'm still having trouble walking on my sore legs from all the dancing on Saturday night. 

On Friday, the bridesmaids spent the night at the Proximity after the rehearsal dinner. We woke up bright and early to get our hair and makeup done...and of course...drink a whole lotta few mimosas. 

We were supposed to take the Proximity shuttle to the church. All of us bridesmaids piled in and sat...and waited...for about 12 minutes with the heat on full blast in the van. Blaring. Here we are, a pitiful sweaty mess running late for our friends wedding. Around 10 minutes till the ceremony was scheduled to start we all piled out of said van and ran to each others cars to busta move to the church. We arrived just in the time!

We also screwed up the ceremony. The night before we practiced the bridal party joining the bride and groom at the alter at one point during the ceremony. Welp. That didn't happen. We all missed our cue. Immediate onset of church giggles. Luckily, the bride and groom found it just as hilarious.

The reception was held at Revolution Mills. It was simply beautiful, complete with a gelato cart! 

We had an absolute blast. A few of the highlights:

Our naughty sorority song to the groom.

The hoisting of the bride and groom. 

 

 

 

I think we were either trying to cool her off or play parachute...

?

Half of the boys walk away with hole in the knees of their dress pants from sliding across the room Studio 54 style. Pretty darn hilarious. 

I love my friends...even if we behave like gypsies.