Craigslist's "missed connections" literally kill me. It's hysterical. People grow some cahoonas to actually speak to someone if they catch your eye!

Please enjoy a few of my favorite "missed connections" from this week:

I was sitting in the corner of the bar. I heard someone achoo! I turned my head and saw the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I dookied my pants right after that. Please tell me what type of curly brown hair you have? 

The way to a gals heart, tell her ya shat your pants...smooth. "What type of curly brown hair you have?" Curl brown, dumb ass!

I saw you at Battleground Park today and couldn't help but take a picture. Nice legs!!! I know you didn't see me but I saw you. Would love to give those sexy legs a rubdown after you are finished running ... or anytime! Let me know when you are going to run again.

Holy crap, that's creepy! That's one hell of a zoom, brother!

you came in today as you have before had a question about your unit. You are very hot and i love the tattoos you have paw prints on your breasts, would love to hook up sometime. Let me know what shirt i was wearing as you had commented on it on your way out.  

paw prints.on.your.breasts.  sick nasty.
 I saw you at the McDonald's on Green Valley yesterday at 12:30. You were wearing a button up blue blouse, an earth tone camisole and loose fitting khakis and stood about 5'9". I was the 6'2" man with salt and pepper hair, short sleeve shirt and cargo shorts. I would dearly like to communicate with you. Best wishes

sir, respectable girls do not communicate with men in "cargo shorts." 

You were standing in front of the cat aisle of Petsmart wearing a tattered shawl and smelled like fancy feast. I walked up to say something to you, but you were busy walking up to each cat, jumping into the air and exclaiming Kitty! at the top of your lungs. The manager asked you to leave before I had a chance to get your name. Let's grab a fancy feast of our own.

no words.