Wednesday, July 11, 2012

X Factor and Spears Bashing

A free evening with Simon Cowell, Britney Spears, Demi and L.A., why not? The X Factor wrapped up it's Greensboro auditions last night and being that we had nothing better to do Mark, Megan and I were members of the audience. 

Let me begin by saying that we were tricked into believing that there was some strict dress code. When I printed the tickets off, they designated an entire page of what to wear, emphasizing the need to dress "hip and trendy, as if you're going to a nice dinner or a night club." (Ok, that's VERY different)  No shorts, no jeans, no flip flops, no patterns, bold colors, no logos....and the list goes on. I'm embarrassed to say that I actually put a little thought into my outfit. 

According to the residents of Greensboro, hip and trendy = People of Walmart. 

Most teenage girls wore dresses such as these. However, please keep in mind that the dresses were ill-fitting, 4 inches too short and no consideration of panty lines. HELLO LADIES, VPL!! (visible panty line) If you're going to wear a skin tight dress (which you really shouldn't if under the age of 18 or can't fill it out), you need to give consideration to your undergarments. And practice walking in your heels before you leave the house.

I kid you not, at one point Meg said "Oh my God, I can see that girl's cheeks!!" Said girl was probably about 15, a little overweight (is that mean?) and in line for Dippin Dots. I didn't think quick enough to snap a pic...but this "People of Walmart" is a fairly accurate account. 

Ok, enough about the awesome people watching. We ended up with pretty good seats. As we sat and waited (for 2 freaking hours) we talking about how we hoped there was going to be people playing with fire, contortionists, dog tricks, magicians and comedians. Obviously we don't watch X Factor and were completely oblivious that it's all singing. Duh.

So after a while (hours) the judges come out. Simon comes out and gives people hugs and signs autographs. Britney appears looking coy and waves a little. The other 2 follow. After they all said down, their team of hair and makeup rushing over and starts fussin' oven them. Interesting to see.

When I first see Britney, I'm thinking...dang, girl's FINALLY got her 'ish together. She's dropped some lbs, her hair looks bright and shiny her skin looks clear...chick's finally off the crazy train. 

Wrong. 30's not lookin' so good...
I'm going to have to take back everything I thought/said about her being pretty/nice/sweet/normal. The pretty part, I'll chalk that up to the Distance Distortion Factor. It happens.

She was a total 'itch. Homegirl's getting paid 15 M.I.L.L.I.O.N dollars, the least she can do it act interested. There were some phenomenal singers. The other judges would give heartfelt feedback and actually take time to genuinely respond to the singer. Britney on the other hand, sat arms crossed in front of her looking disinterested and annoyed. When it came time for her to make some comment, it was typically something short and ridiculously stupid. 

Exhibit A: (please read in a mousy, breathy voice)
"You were very entertaining and I was entertained." - Britney Spears.

REALLY!?! 15 million dollars and you cant fake it?? Someone make that chick a list of adjectives to have readily available after each act. After a while, most of the audience was laughing after each time she spoke. Simon was visibly getting pissed. 

She stopped the show a few times, just walking off the judges stage. Simon would stride after her. Apparently, a few days before, she stormed off after a contestant covered "Crazy."
Not a happy Brit-Brit. 

Such a brat. 
THIS may be the reason for her sitting stone faced! Maybe her beauty team advised her not to smile. Smiling isn't such a good look fer her...

Demi Lovato was cute. I'm not really sure who she is....I think I might know one song of hers...
She did have hair that looked very similar to a hotdog bun though...
How does that even happen?
Simon Cowell reportedly irritated X Factor staffers by showing up late because he wanted to get an authentic Southern meal at a diner. OMG. I'm sitting here trying to think about that "authentic diner" (in the ghetto near the coliseum) he selected.

Although not a "diner," Beef Burger is the first place that comes to mind since it's so close to the ghetto coliseum.

Welcome to Greensboro, North Carolina, Simon!

I'm crossing my fingers and hoping he went with Stamey's. Still not exactly Five Star dining, dang good BBQ!

I digress. we arrived at 5:45 and left around 10:00. A few of the singers were totally awesome. Mark and I agreed that we'll be tuning in this season to cheer on a few of our favorites and watch that 'itchface make a fool out of herself. 

I apologize for all the harsh words and negativity towards B. Spears. 
Disclaimer Disclaimer:
Not really.  

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