Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Nick Nolte

Please allow me a few moments to rant about something that drives me entirely crazy.
People who constantly point out the obvious. For example:
Oh wow, you wore your hair curly today.
Looks like we have some big trucks in the parking lot.
You're eating a cookie.
You're tall today, you're wearing heels.
The sky is cloudy. 
Lord, please grant me patience to smile and nod.

I've recently stumbled on a new blog. The blogger is out of California. She's tall, skinny, blonde, a model, eats a balance diet, teaches pilates...ya know...everything you really want to hate a girl for.  

Anyways, she did a blog post about her hair...which is long and pretty and very California. She told the readers that she very rarely washes her hair, only uses dry shampoo. She also applies coconut oil to her hair about 2xs a month. And when she does wash it, she hardly ever blows it dry because the heat damages it....

Yeah. Right. 

I would straight up look like Nick Nolte.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

As promised, I'd like to introduce you to a total hair game-changer.
Well, wait, I think I need to take a step back and explain exactly why I made this purchase.  

Because I wanted to look like this, duh.

Because I've been so cheap lately (lately, HA who am I kidding) I haven't gotten a haircut in a long long time. I even made my husband assist in coloring my hair. My locks aren't nearly as long as Gretchen's but, hey, a girl has every right to be delusional. I needed something to give my hair some extra vavavoom and I love the look of soft waves.

Now that we have that covered, I shall move on. 

Behold: The Wave Wand

 T|Studio Large Pearl Ceramic Professional Styling Elliptical Wand  
 I love. It's easy to use. It comes with a glove so you don't burn the heck outta your fingers. (I did burn my ear though, like, bad.)
You simple grab sections of your hair and wrap it around the wand. You'll end up looking a little like Shirley Temple...but then you shake it out. I even brush through it a little. I HIGHLY recommend this if you have long hair. Mine is even a tad bit short. 
Buy it, it's good.

via gchat:

annie:  wanna come do a 5k in march?
me:  oh hell no. i will eat 5 donuts with you in march
annie:  3 miles come on 
me:  will someone be chasing me with rags of snot bc thats the only way I'll run. 
annie:  yep its rugged maniac
me:  i think you have to, like, actually train for that!!!
annie:  no u dont
me:  you do! and there's mud!
hell to the no. 

Friday, October 19, 2012

This is Friday morning.
After $2 pints at Natty's.
After drinks at a charity auction.
After a glass of wine at mi casa.
And after a stellar performance of Spice Girls "Wannabe" karaoke at a dumpy bar.

(Ok, ok, the karaoke performance was a little less than stellar but I blame it entirely on a stupid song choice. How could we have forgotten about Ace Of Base?? Duh)

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Just a quick note...

Is it weird that I'm strangely disappointed that my husband doesn't know who Honey Boo Boo is?
Hi! I'm not dead, have just been incredibly busy with work/our photography business/feathering the name it. Speaking of the nest...we've done a lot around the house these past few weeks. As soon as I snap some decent pictures I'll be sure to post. 
After work I'm going to a Handbags for Literacy event sponsored by the United Way. Designer handbag auction, wine, apps and charity...what more could ya want?
Ohhh!!! And I purchased a total hair game-changer!! You chicks with long hair NEED this tool. I'll post a product review soon. ;)

Until then I'll leave you with a little ditty I took from my friend Sarah's page

If I were a gemstone, I'd be turquoise.
If I were a scent, I'd be honeysuckle.
If I were a pair of shoes, I'd be a pair of funky flats.
If I were the weather, I'd be 75 degrees and sunny.
If I were a facial expression, I'd be a grin.
If I were a car, I'd be a sensible Honda.
If I were a time of day, I'd be 9am.
If I were a month, I'd be October.
If I were a place, I'd be the East Village in Manhattan.
If I were a liquid, I'd be red wine.
If I were a taste, I'd be tangy.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a octopus.
If I were a food, I'd be a maple bacon donut.
If I were a colour, I'd be aqua.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a piano.
If I were a flower, I'd be a protea.
If I were a planet, I'd be a succulent.
If I were an object, I'd be a souvenir.
If I were a fruit, I'd be a mango.
If I were a sound, I'd be the last hurrah.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be a Thursday.


Friday, October 5, 2012

So, its 2:20 and I'm sitting at my desk talking to some dude who thinks he's "been wronged" and needs an attorney. (He does not.) Out of the corner of my eye I see two groundhogs chasing each other in the empty lot next to our building. Trying not to laugh while listening to this dude trying to seek justice, I roll my chair back and frantically try to catch the attention of my boss. I point out the groundhogs and quickly end the phone convo.
Next thing I know, 5 out of the 7 of us in my office are flying down the stairs, out the door and into the parking lot...trying to catch the groundhogs. Imagine, suited lawyers on all fours looking under cars for a groundhog. 

WE'RE GOING TO THE FAIR TONIGHT!!! Please stay tuned to see how many fried foods I inhale while watching pig races (!!).  

Fact: a lady in my office has never had a corn dog. 
Just sit on that. 
I hope you're as outraged as I am. 

My boss: "3 bracelets and a watch all on one wrist?"
Me: "Yes, it's called a Stack"
My boss: "Why so many on one wrist, isn't the other wrist jealous?"
Me: "Most girls who get paid more at work have bigger, nicer, stacks."
My boss: "Ha."

Good try. 

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

What the world needs from you...

"The planet doesn’t need more ‘successful’ people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every shape and form. It needs people who will live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these needs have little to do with success as our culture has defined it."

- David Orr
I've seen this quote floating around tumbler and the interwebs these past few days and for some reason I keep coming back to it. This quote had me thinking about 'success' and what it means to me. Personally, I believe that success equals the pursuit of happiness. If you're family oriented, success means having a healthy family life; if you're career driven, success means the ability to forgo your intellectual interest into a career; if spiritual, happiness and success comes with forming a relationship with your creator. Maybe your success comes with a few of these things and some others combined.

Ralph said it best:

 “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

At the end of our lives, success can be easily measured by summing two things:
  How many people you helped.
  How many times you smiled and laughed.

Spent $10.14 on 2 small coffees at Starbucks last night. 
Am I the only one who thinks that's a total rip??

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Off Topic Tuesday:

Apparently, when you're married and in your late 20's, it's not acceptable to mimic and mock your husband like a 3 year old during a disagreement.

For the past 7 minutes I've been sitting at my desk trying to take profile pictures of my face to see if my cheeks are getting fatter. Indeed, I'm pretty positive they are. 

My lips have been chapped for the past 3 days. It's getting old.

I made pumpkin muffins last night. They were awesome and super easy. One box yellow cake mix, one can pumpkin puree and some chocolate chips. The end. (I've since eaten 3)

A guy at my work eats straight up angus beef patties for breakfast. When I laughingly questioned his assistant about it, she responded straight faced "it's for protein." No shit, but it's still weird. 

Last night's RHONY season finale was a real let down. And, since I'm on the topic of Bravo tv shows.....Chantal from Gallery Girls reminds me of a malnourished troll with osteoporosis.

I tried to create a big, full, bun on the top of my head this morning. Fail. 

Starbucks. I wish I had enough money to scoop up a Starbucks coffee every morning. I'll have to settle for K Cups at work, bleh. 

It's 9:43 and I forgot my 10am snack at home. I'm getting really anxious. 


Friday, September 28, 2012

It's finally Friday and in the words of the beautiful Melissa Gorga:

I'm so team Melissa.
 Actually, this leads me to something very importaint. 
(I call it a twohead because she's got WAY less than a forehead.)

I mean, what the heck IS that?
Her hairline starts about 4 centimeters above her eyebrows. 

I am so tired. The alarm went off this morning and I wanted to cry. 
If I curled up in the fetal position under my desk, I could sleep for hours. 
I'm not gunna lie, I went out last night for a few cocktails and...
That is all for now.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


The 5th grade version of myself was essentially jumping up and down for these five minutes. 

Not only did I slam it to the left; I also shook it to the right. And it was good. 

I REALLY want to be a Spice Girl.
Sometimes, when I'm getting ready in the morning, I slam it to the left and shake it to the right. 

I would be Posh. Duh.

Monday, September 24, 2012

I highly recommend leaving the top of your convertible up on your lunch break.
Unless, of course, you want to look like this for the rest of the day. 

God, I'm good looking. Bah!

Friday, September 21, 2012

Friday Randomness  

As my boss leaves for a lunch meeting and I call after him "Have fun! Call me if you drink too much!" Muhahaha. 

I received a new office chair today. However, I use the term "new" loosely. The dudes in the office below us all got new chairs and we purchased their oldies. To be fair, it is a really nice chair. I think the thing's worth like $900 new. (Yes, I googled my chair.) The smells like urine and I know exactly who's ass was in it last. I made the office manager smell it because my boss wouldn't. I KNOW she smelled piss but she said it smelled like pasta to her. Whatever, I'm not ungrateful. Lumbar support vs. urine pants. 

I really don't think they appreciate fashion around here.  I'm wearing my new pair of lady loafers (leopard lady loafers, to be exact) and I'm gettin' all sorts of funny looks. Lay off the loafers, people. 

Paris Hilton
This is not a joke. This not a movie or a dare. This is really Paris Hilton and she's really driving a pink car with a pink leather trim interior, a spacesuit looking gold jacket, hooker hoop earrings and nasty over-sized white shades. 
What a joker. 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Walking the fine line between law firm professional and club attire. 
(If there were such a thing)

((Disclosure: This post is not a "look at me, look what I'm wearing post!" I hate those, they make me want to gag. No one cares about what designer you wore while sitting at your desk. This post is strictly to make a point that due to my lacking closet and limited decent work attire and have to inappropriately stretch the  boundaries.))

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Tornado warnings for the 'boro today.
I work RIGHT next to a train track. Actually. I'm practically sitting ON the track.
Wasn't exaggerating
And....tornadoes are supposed to sound like a train comin'atchya, right?
This could make for a very confusing day. 

You think if I assumed the old school position every time I heard a train I'd get some laughs??


Monday, September 17, 2012

Remember that consigned coffee table ($96.02) that I was SO excited about finding?

Well, I woke up bright and early Saturday morning with big plans to refinish that little table. I picked up a few electric sanders from my dad (who has 3...why does anyone need 3 sanders?) and stopped at Lowes for some supplies. $36.83 later, I'm on my way home.

Remember, my house is small, we don't have a garage so I have to work on my porch. Ghetto. Don't judge.  So Mark lugged the table outside for me and I go to town taking the hardware off and sanding that bad boy. After it was sanded, I applied the primer. Then I painted a small section to make sure I liked the color. I loved it. The only issue...after it dried, it scratched/peeled easily. Damn it, I was going to have to strip the entire thing.

If you've stripped furniture before, you know it isn't an easy process. Especially if you only have a small space to work in. But...I was excited and in love with what the finished product was going to look like. It took me 3 (freakin) trips to Lowes ($35.90), 4 hours, damage to my fingernails, stains on the porch and an  aching lower back...and the beast was naked.

(Sidenote: When I say "stains on the porch" that's code for "my husband accidentally kicked over the blue paint can.")

In pretty much took all day Saturday. Saturday night, I demand pizza and movie on the couch.

Sunday morning I wake up to to the sound of rain.

Raining on my f'ing coffee table.

Warped. The entire thing is totally warped. $168.65 and an entire day...gone.
I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I didn't cry. Because I sure did.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Craigslist's "missed connections" literally kill me. It's hysterical. People grow some cahoonas to actually speak to someone if they catch your eye!

Please enjoy a few of my favorite "missed connections" from this week:

I was sitting in the corner of the bar. I heard someone achoo! I turned my head and saw the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I dookied my pants right after that. Please tell me what type of curly brown hair you have? 

The way to a gals heart, tell her ya shat your pants...smooth. "What type of curly brown hair you have?" Curl brown, dumb ass!

I saw you at Battleground Park today and couldn't help but take a picture. Nice legs!!! I know you didn't see me but I saw you. Would love to give those sexy legs a rubdown after you are finished running ... or anytime! Let me know when you are going to run again.

Holy crap, that's creepy! That's one hell of a zoom, brother!

you came in today as you have before had a question about your unit. You are very hot and i love the tattoos you have paw prints on your breasts, would love to hook up sometime. Let me know what shirt i was wearing as you had commented on it on your way out.  

paw prints.on.your.breasts.  sick nasty.
 I saw you at the McDonald's on Green Valley yesterday at 12:30. You were wearing a button up blue blouse, an earth tone camisole and loose fitting khakis and stood about 5'9". I was the 6'2" man with salt and pepper hair, short sleeve shirt and cargo shorts. I would dearly like to communicate with you. Best wishes

sir, respectable girls do not communicate with men in "cargo shorts." 

You were standing in front of the cat aisle of Petsmart wearing a tattered shawl and smelled like fancy feast. I walked up to say something to you, but you were busy walking up to each cat, jumping into the air and exclaiming Kitty! at the top of your lungs. The manager asked you to leave before I had a chance to get your name. Let's grab a fancy feast of our own.

no words.

Just a warning

Wal-Mart’s Genuine Steakhouse™ steaks taste like straight up dog. Just sayin.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

I want you. So, so, so bad.
 Please say hello to the newish (unfinished) addition to the Potter household.

 I've been scouring consignment shop after consignment shop and finally found the perfect coffee table. We wanted something small, multifunctional and slightly mod. I cant wait to get my paws on the sander!!!

I'm going to paint the entire table this color:

Then paint a high gloss over the top (because I love shine!) and spray the hardware a super shiny bright silver. I still cant decide if I'm going to outline the little cutouts on the door in silver or not...

(This incredibly boring post was brought to you by lame chick who's overly excited about her 2nd hand finds.)

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

You want a kid, you want a kid, you try for a kid, you want a kid, you want a get a kid. Then you name him Duke.
Duke. Really??

Sparkle Tips

I actually kinda like um. 
 I used a rubber band as a guide. Painting the left hand, fairly easy. Right hand, extremely difficult. I was 3 minutes away from making Mark help me.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Belgian designer and artist, Liesbet Bussche, has transformed street barriers and roadblocks, throughout the streets of Amsterdam, into larger than life necklaces, earrings and charms.
Tuesday morning gripes:

Happy we got our new iPhones. Not happy about the $295.00 bill we received in the mail. Bump you, Verizon. I want my track phone back.

Shipping. $9.99 shipping fee on a $18.00 pair of shoes...seriously?
Rhinestone skulls, so impractical, yet so cute. Too bad we'll never meet.

My hair. I feel like the Long Island Medium's doppelganger today.
Not good, nooooot good.
 Not having enough hours in the day. I guess everyone has that issue though. I would love a day with my feet up, in the sun, champagne in one hand and a trashy magazine in the other. 

Damn, I really want those shoes...

Monday, September 10, 2012


Meet Peaches Honeyblossom Geodof. 
 She is a is a British journalist, television presenter and model.
And apparently, can't push a stroller worth a damn. 
Her son, on the ground, wearing tights (?), is Astala Dylan Willow Geldof-Cohen.
Does it make me a bad person if I find this slightly hysterical? 
(Oh, and Peaches' sisters name is Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence Geldof.)

Friday, September 7, 2012

Its been a pretty tough morning at the office.
Busy making bacon, egg and cheese McConnorsMorgan Muffins.

Thursday, September 6, 2012


“Friends say Kate is convinced it’s happened, and while she and William are keeping the news close to the vest, they’re delirious with joy,” an insider told the magazine. “A woman can always tell when the earliest signs appear, and it’s believe that a passionate night together at their rented country house on an estate in Wales, just after the end of the London Olympics, did the trick.”

That is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.
Tomorrow, I'm going to walk around "convincing my friends" that "it's happened."
What the what?! 
(Error Proof Test)

Friends say Kate is convinced it’s happened, and while she and William are keeping the news close to the vest, they’re delirious with joy,” an insider confirms to Star magazine. “A woman can always tell when the earliest signs appear, and it’s believe that a passionate night together at their rented country house on an estate in Wales, just after the end of the London Olympics, did the trick.”

Read More at:
“Friends say Kate is convinced it’s happened, and while she and William are keeping the news close to the vest, they’re delirious with joy,” an insider confirms to Star magazine. “A woman can always tell when the earliest signs appear, and it’s believe that a passionate night together at their rented country house on an estate in Wales, just after the end of the London Olympics, did the trick.”

Read More at:

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

This week was the start of the "lean cuisine every day for lunch" diet. I'm forcing myself to eat this gelatinous lemon chicken shit for a few very good reasons. really good reason. 


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Half bath ALMOST done!

Success! After having to patch and paint a hole (because I can't hang anything straight to save my freakin' life)...they're up! I'm getting really good at patching holes!

Suitcase shelves
I'm still playing around with how to decorate them...but I'm pretty happy with the end result! I'm searching for a little basket/box for on top of the toilet to keep the TP. Also need a little something on the bare wall to the right. 

I'm going to sound like a total dork here, but I went to Anthropologie during lunch, NOT to look at clothes, but to look at the store's decorations for inspiration. We have a pedestal sink and I'm thinking these plants would look cute near the base of it. It's a little hard to see from the picture, but all they did was spray paint a brown bag gold and add a little rope to make it tight around the planter. How cute would a plant like this look sitting on a small vintage hat box or travel case?? Or even a stack of vintage travel books....

Hancock Fabric had a 50% off sale this weekend. I took total advantage and purchased 5 pillow inserts and some funky trim. All for under $35...holla!

Some pillow inspiration--NOT my house.
Funky pompoms and crystal trim for the pillows.
It'll probably take me a while to decide on fabric, but, what else is new. Once complete...I'll show ya'll!


Little Amanda's big fat wedding!!

This long weekend was super fun. Mandy got married and BOY did we have a great time. I'm still having trouble walking on my sore legs from all the dancing on Saturday night. 

On Friday, the bridesmaids spent the night at the Proximity after the rehearsal dinner. We woke up bright and early to get our hair and makeup done...and of course...drink a whole lotta few mimosas. 

We were supposed to take the Proximity shuttle to the church. All of us bridesmaids piled in and sat...and waited...for about 12 minutes with the heat on full blast in the van. Blaring. Here we are, a pitiful sweaty mess running late for our friends wedding. Around 10 minutes till the ceremony was scheduled to start we all piled out of said van and ran to each others cars to busta move to the church. We arrived just in the time!

We also screwed up the ceremony. The night before we practiced the bridal party joining the bride and groom at the alter at one point during the ceremony. Welp. That didn't happen. We all missed our cue. Immediate onset of church giggles. Luckily, the bride and groom found it just as hilarious.

The reception was held at Revolution Mills. It was simply beautiful, complete with a gelato cart! 

We had an absolute blast. A few of the highlights:
Our naughty sorority song to the groom.
The hoisting of the bride and groom.    

I think we were either trying to cool her off or play parachute...

Half of the boys walk away with hole in the knees of their dress pants from sliding across the room Studio 54 style. Pretty darn hilarious. 

I love my friends...even if we behave like gypsies. 

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Yesterday was just not my day. It ended well with wine, best friends and pedicures, but it didn't start that way.

 I had a crazy dream about Mark leaving me for "Melissa" (?) who works (and lives in the basement of) McDonald's. Mark decided he'd rather live in McDonald's so he took all our money and left me. Then the dream got REAL weird when I went to a midget diving contest at the YMCA.

After I woke up, shower, confirmed with Mark that he doesn't know any McDonald's employees, I took the dog for a walk....and walked straight into a gigantic spider web. The kind of spider web that has all sorts of critters trapped in it. Those critters, were now trapped in my hairspray.

After the walk, I tried to comb out said critters and got completely freaked out by the fact that their wings were still flapping. 

 I got to work and was greeted by my boss making some weirdo comment about my high heels. And saluting me. Yes, saluting me. And commenting on how tall I am. If that doesn't make an already self-conscious girl want to dive under her desk, I don't know what will.

So, in short. I was in a foul mood. 
And I was sending out super bad, negative, energy.
But, today will be MUCH better. 
I've already decided.

(To homegirl at my office who cut me off mid sentence...I'm taking a deep breath, counting to ten, not mentally flicking  you off ...and dropping it. Boom.)

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Prosciutto and Lemon-Garlic Ricotta Flatbread with Arugula and Mozzarella
A bottle of sauvignon blanc

In the car on the way home from a photography planning meeting at Green Valley Grill:
Me: "If I had one awesome talent, I wish I was an incredible singer."
Mark: "Yeah, me too. Like Enrique Iglesias."

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

This is truly the best thing you've seen in a while, I promise! I'm such a sucker for kids saying silly things, and that paired with the Flight of the Concord guys...simply awesome. 

Bret and Jemaine (I don't know their real names) are talking to kids and asking them to help come up with lyrics for a song that will raise money for children in New Zealand hospitals. 

Watch the whole way through, the song is after the little interview part.

Because I don't know how to add a video to my blog (dur), click here.

Just something to think about...

He is a sponsor of the "Sanctity of Human Life Act," which gives states the right to ban abortions without exception. He seeks cuts to Medicaid funding and shifting distribution of those funds from the federal government to the state governments, thereby likely obviating the constitutional protection Roe provides. He voted for the Pence Amendment, which would have eliminated federal funding of Planned Parenthood's provision of reproductive health services, i.e., birth control, (and not abortion). According to one writer, "...he (Ryan) has checked every box on the anti-abortion list. That includes support for 'personhood' (constitutional) amendments that protect life from conception -- in other words, completely banning abortion."

And just a few more, 'cause I love um!

What?? What war on women??