Wednesday, May 23, 2012

My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding Train Wreck

TLC, you've done it again. You've managed to hit a new, all-time, level of trash. And of course, I'm eating it up. Have you SEEN these gypsies?? What a freak show! Its kinda like Jersey Shore meets Housewives meets the Amish. If you haven't had the pleasure of catching an episode, here's the premise:

Gypsy girls don't go to school. They stay at home, in the trailer, cleaning, cooking, looking after their siblings and training to be a trailerwife. They aren't allowed to talk to gypsy boys until they are ready to marry, at a ripe old age of 14. They aren't allowed to go to school because they cant be surrounded with "gorgers" (which are regular people) because apparently gorger girls aren't pure and do bad things like make-out in the halls at school and hold hands with boys. So, gypsy girls stick to their own kind, and dust...all damn day. Oh, and dress and dance like sluts. 

Now gypsy boys, on the other hand, they have it made in the shade. They, like the chicks, don't go to school. Instead, they start working manual jobs at a really early age and troll the local malls and shopping centers for gorger girls to sleep with. They can "practice" all they want with gorger girls, but hell no will they marry one. They cant settle down with no trash! Around 15, marrin' age, they pick a gypsy chick, talk to her a few times, then get hitched. 

 See?! (Side note: What the hell are those statues and aren't they a little big for a camper?)

Pat Baby, Priscilla's father, is throwing her a Halloween party where she can dress like a whore and find a husband. He also got a new tat to commemorate the occasion. Oh, and he also likes to get "drunked up." (Dad...I never had a Halloween party...?)

Priscilla and her "dance outfit" for the party. Daddy picked it out!
These gyp family is all decked out for their Thanksgiving family reunion.

This, my friends, is only the tip of the iceberg!
You can all thank me later.

say sumthin'!

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