Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Things I Don't Care About

There are a few things that I couldn’t really care less about. I know you are all very interested, and by this point, probably sitting on the edge of your seat. So, without further ado, behold the things I do not care about at all…

#1 Basketball and March Madness. I.do.not.care about your bracket. Facebook is peppered with basketball references…enough. Please. I do not care that UNC’s Kendall Marshall is experiencing less pain a day after surgery on his broken right wrist. Really Greensboro News and Record, this is front page news?
Seriously, shut your face.

#2 Jessica Simpson and her 39 pound baby.  I know Jessica, we all know by now, as soon as you give birth and sell the pictures of your obese newborn, you will make millions. We get it.

Please Jess, I beg you and your pregnancy induced man legs to please stay home for the remainder of your pregnancy.

 "Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks it'll be like a fire hydrant!" –Jessica Simpson. Good thing I ate lunch a while ago. Vom. She is so huge that she will be delivering the baby THREE weeks early. Naming her huge little girl Maxwell is, like the preggo mini skirt and 5 inch heels, another mistake. Nickname: Maxi. Maxi-pad. The End.  

#3 Peyton Manning/Tim Tebow. This is a twofer. I couldn't care less about these two. I have no idea what teams they were on, if they are still on those teams or if they’re goin’ somehere else. No clue, could care less. Tired of hearing about them. Also, I don’t understand why ladies think Tim is attractive. He has a plus sized neck. Check it.

What a stem, huh?

#4 The Kardashians. Ok, this one is a bit of a conundrum for me. I hate to be trite and say that it’s sort of like watching a train wreck, but it is. When Mark and I were in New York this winter we saw a HUGE line outside a clothing store. When we got closer we realized that it was DASH, the Kardashian store. So Mark, being sneaky and sly, got us to the head of the line and into the store with a quickness. (No way would I wait over an hour for that *ish) Behold the inside of DASH:

It really is that boring, folks.
Super boring, right? I mean, Kohls has more zha zha than this! I didn’t take this picture because you weren’t allowed to take photos in the store. Barf. Anyways, clothing all priced $250.00 and over… and teeny boppers lined up to buy it. I kid you not, every item of clothing I picked up had some sequence, or beads or strings broken and hanging off. Well made. Not. We were in and out in 2.5.

And, there is no way these chicks are this skinny. No way. Wouldn’t it stink that every picture you saw of yourself on the internet and magazines, you were multiple sizes smaller than you really are.

And one more thing. I don’t care who you are, this is not cute.


Ok, ok. You’re right. I know what you’re thinking. I’m a hater and I could go on for days talking about Kim, Kourtey and horseface Khloe. Soooo, I guess that means I do care, a little.

My attention span is running low so enough of what I don’t care about and think is stupid. I have better and more important things to direct my attention to:

The original OC

say sumthin'!

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