Monday, March 19, 2012

What I'm Packing

I always love to read about what celebs have in their purses, and laugh. InStyle always does an article about a different celebrity and what million dollar products she carries around in her million dollar bag....and none of them really make sense. And I KNOW she's not toting this shit. All lies. For example, take what's inside Jennifer Garner's $1350 Tod bag:

Face wash. We all know that NO ONE is going to wash their face during the day. I don't know about you, but I only apply makeup ONCE a day.

Sliding disks. Those green and black things, for exercising. Humm...really? I would like to see someone in my office whip those bad boys out.

Lipstick. Ok, this is acceptable.

Sunblock. Fine.

Kindle and Hair bands. Normal.

A Candle. WTF?

So, here I was, judging the hell out of how stupid Jennifer's $1350 bag and all of its contents are. Then I got to thinking about my bag. My $55 Tori Burch bag purchased in a sketchy back ally in China Town bag and it's wack-o contents. Seriously, I could be mistaken for a psycho killer. Or just a weirdo.

So I dumped everything out.

I can explain everything.

Birth Control pills and Tampon. No explanation needed.

Our tax documents. We owe money this year so I haven't filed yet. So what.

Losing lotto tickets. Trying to pay the taxes somehow!

Pepto. Sometimes very needed.

Katie Holmes. The inspiration for my new haircut.

4 packs of Kleenex...(four? really?) and new sunglasses.

Lipstick. Jennifer and I have one thing in common.

A HUGE stack of unused gift cards from our wedding. Don't tell Mark. My plan is to keep them long enough until he forgets and then I can buy clothes. JK. Sorta. Not really.

A tape measurer (is that a word?). Like I said, we just moved into a new house. I keep this puppy with me in case I see furniture that I like so I can measure it and make sure it will fit. However, it's really pointless because I didn't do any measurements inside the house...I'm smart like that.

Retractable Utility Knife. Caaaannn't really recall why I have this...

Jennifer Garner carries a candle, I carry a retractable utility knife.

Say sumthin'!

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